The place: Black Forest, Germany. The year: 1316 AD. The day: Friday (probably). Possessed by a demon troll, the Marquess of Baden is fleeing some brave knights, her devoted Youngling in tow. Looks like she will have to postpone the blood sacrifice to open a portal into the netherworld.

Losing a magic battle with a wizard, she is turned into stone and her book of spells (including its handy animated narrator) is lost in time.

Fast forward. Or, if you are not from the VHS era, skip chapters. It’s 2019, Baden-Baden is an almost bustling metropolis with a population of roughly 55.000. On a construction site, a stone cross is unearthed, with the “statue” of the Marquess and the book of spells close by.

You know how these things go: the book is stolen, the troll is revived, and the fate of the world rests in the hands of antiques saleslady Tipi and history buff Dr. Fischer. They need to stop the troll from combining the book with its cover amulet during a virgin sacrifice that will unleash hell on earth. It was either that or Pilates class. They actually manage to snatch the amulet from the lapel of Baden-Baden’s mayor, a direct descendant of one of the brave knights.

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Meanwhile, the troll has taken over the body of ditzy Vanessa Mayer, who feels the sudden urge to eat trash, talk trash and fly a broomstick over the Black Forest. In her search for the book, she summons the “King of the Lake”, a splendid water demon replete with a trident. He’s willing to point her in the right direction – for a prize. A ten-pound, diaper shitting, pacifier sucking prize…

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If finding a baby to sacrifice to a lake monster wasn’t hard enough, the Vanessa troll also has to procure a new dumb male virgin for the ultimate ritual. Luckily, her own daughter is dating Charlie, who is thick as a brick and hasn’t gotten into Natalja’s pants – yet. Vanessa goes to extreme lengths to ensure Charlie’s virginity stays intact, including sucking face and caressing his junk on the dancefloor of the local night club. Daughter Natalja is none too pleased!

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You think this is all pretty weird and outrageous? It gets even weirder. Vanessa and her shrill cousin Helga manage to assemble all the pieces for the ritual. This is only possible on midsummers night, putting major pressure on possessed blonde Vanessa. So much evil to do, so little time! They set about to open a nice swirly portal into the troll universe, where an army of diminutive demons is waiting for human souls to consume (with the bodies as appetizers). But wait! What about Tipi and Dr. Fischer? Can they stop Vanessa? Can they save Charlie? Can they finally sync their mouth movements to the outrageous dubbing? Watch Under ConTROLL and find out!

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Phew, right? And we have not even talked about the gonzo talk show Vanessa is attending in the first act. Or George Hardy, who has stumbled in from Troll 2, spouting advice and generally having a good time. There are animated sequences. Time travelling. A Plan 9 from Outer Space poster. Goofy antics of a noisy neighbor. Horseback riding. A shout out to Louis de Funès’ legendary Gendarm of Saint Tropez movies.

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